Clannad: An alternate story
by Sanctuary Dreamer
Summary: Ever since his youth, Tomoya has been plagued with illness due to his weak frame. He feels as though life is never going to get any easier for him at this point. That is however, until he meets Nagisa. A young girl starting her senior year in this new school. And together, they gather the courage to ascend that steep slope lined with sakura trees. Alternate version of Clannad!
1. Chapter 1

**I imagine I'm not the first to write about an alternative version of Clannad. But I had an idea. One that I couldn't stop myself from writing. Basically, the idea is this. What if Nagisa's health was fine, but it was Tomoya's health that was weak? I was curious as to how that might go, but no one ever really explored that. So I decided, what the heck. I'll do it! Now it won't be the exact same as the anime or the manga, or even the visual novel. That would be boring. Instead, I'll be going down my own route. Please enjoy!**

 _I hate this town. It's full of so many unwanted memories that I just wish I could forget. Everyday info to school, hang out with friends, and then go to a home that I don't even want to go to. Will things ever change?_

 _Tomoya's Pov_

Coming up the sakura tree lined path, I can't help but think about my past. And just how..tired I am of it all. What's the point in living this way, if nothing ever changes? Not only that but...I usually end up as a burden to everyone that I meet, without even meaning to. Up the path I go. How long has it been? School started about a month ago but..I wasn't able to attend for..personal reasons I guess you could say. But now I was attending my third year of high school...for the second time.

Hmm? Whose that? Standing there, just staring at the school, is a girl I've never met before. She seems worried, almost as though she might cry. I wonder what's bothering her. I decide to continue walking, and see if she does anything. She closed her eyes and bent her head down a bit.

"Anpan!" She cried. What the..? This phrase alone seemed to have given her more confidence, and she looked back up, facing the school. "Do you like this school? I have to say, I like it very very much. But soon everything changes. Well at least it does eventually." I don't think she's talking to me. Is she talking..to someone in her heart? "Fun things, happy things, they'll all...they'll all eventually change you know? But can you still, love this place?" I wasn't really sure what to say to her. Her problems weren't really any of my business. But..it's not like I could just leave her like this.

"Just go and find more." I found myself saying. She was startled and turned around to see me. Heh, she's kind of cute. "Just go and find more fun and happy things. It shouldn't be that hard." I encouraged. She didn't say anything back. I shook my head and turned back towards the school. "Well, let's get going." I encouraged as I walked down the hill. She quickly began to follow me. I never knew that would be the day that changed my life forever.

 _After school_

After school I usually go to visit my friend Youhei Sunohara. He's been my best friend for the last three years. I doubt I'll find someone else who would be willing to put up with me. When I walk in, it's chaos. Apparently the idiot had been unreasonable with his music and was getting beat up for it by the jocks. Youhei lived in a boys dormitory for the schools athlete. He used to be a soccer player, back in his freshmen year. But after a fight, he had been suspended and lost his position on the soccer team. But his family lived too far from the school and he couldn't really afford to move anywhere else. So he was given permission to stay here for the time being. I often go to visit him after school.

After Sunohara got the crap beaten out of his for the umpteenth time, the dorm mother, Misae Sagara came out to stop the jocks from being loud. Once they had scattered, Sunohara had me join him in his room. It felt more like home in here then it actually did at home. That was a bit sad, but that was the reality of it. I watched as Sunohara plopped down across from me at his small table. I teased him a bit as he complained about the stupid jocks always kicking him around. I didn't answer. Nothing more I could say at this point. All I could was tease him about it. As we talked, I examined his features.

Sunohara really had a baby face. Which really emphasized the one year age difference. I was a year older then Sunohara. Because I had to repeat a grade. I had to repeat my senior year of high school.

When I was born, I had a rare condition that the doctors weren't able to explain. My body was significantly weaker then others. I often got sick and took a longer time to get well. My mother had the same disease, which is what killed her. When I was around four or so, my mother become very ill and had to go to the hospital. But this time, she didn't get better. She lingered for a few months before she died. I'll never forget that day. I was holding one of her hands as it stopped shaking and went limp. I feel terrible. I hardly even remember her face or what she sounded like. But I remember that the day she died, she had really been suffering

But now, I have the same condition that killed my mother. But..I don't really fear my death day. Not really. But it's not like I'm looking forward to it though. No one WANTS to die. Well..I don't at least. I guess you could say that I'm indifferent to it.

"Hey Okazaki!" I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at Sunohara. He was looking over at me, worried. Ah, had I really been spaced out for that long? "Okazaki are you feeling alright?" He asked.

"Yea, don't worry about me." I assured him. "Just stared spacing out is all. Nothing to worry about." He didn't seem convinced. This is what I meant when I said that I burden everyone. I tried to hide my illness from others, and when I was sick, I told others that I was just skipping class. That I couldn't be bothered to come. Which was believable enough. I had a bit of a reputation as a delinquent in this school. So no one questioned it. But Sunohara was the only one who knew about my illness. Because he saw how sick I could get.

It was last year, when I was in my first senior year, and he was a junior. I remember I had been feeling sick all day but couldn't bring myself to go home. I hated being there. My father tries to take care of me, but just makes me feel worse. He talks to me like I'm a stranger. So I couldn't stand staying there for so long and let him try to take care of me with his booze breathe and rough hands. So I managed to get through the school day without too much of a problem. And I went to Sunohara's place afterwards to stay away from the house.

 _"Hey Okazaki, is something up?" Youhei asked. "You don't look so good." True to his word, Tomoya's face was just a bit pale, and he seemed distracted. Tomoya waved it off._

 _"Dont worry about it. I'm just a little tired is all." He said, still not looking Youhei in the eye. He glanced at the clock. "I think I'm gonna go." He sighed. No point in staying if Sunohara was going to get all worried about him. He stood, and wobbled nearly falling._

 _"Okazaki, maybe you should sit or something. You look really sick." Tomoya shook his head and slowly left the room, closing the door behind him. Youhei stood, ready to stop him. As he put his hand on the doorknob however, he heard a thud in the hallway. He threw the door open and looked down the hall. There lie his best friend, sprawled in the hall way._

 _"Okazaki!"_

I'm not too sure what happened after that. But apparently I had been dragged to Sunohara's dorm room by Sunohara himself. I do remember though, that after I woke up, I told him not to call my dad. To just let me stay here for a bit. He agreed, but in the morning, when I still hadn't gotten any better, he had no choice but to ask the dorm mother Misae to drive me to my house, seeing how my dad doesn't have a car. I was sick for a few days, but it felt like much longer. I hate that I was born like this and I hate the person I am.

Maybe someday things will change. But for now, I'm stuck in this never ending cycle of pity and regret. A ride that won't slow down or let me off.

And it's slowly killing me.

 **So for the next chapter, I might just skip right to when they meet again, with Nagisa being all alone and Tomoya going to see her.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I was thinking about how I want this story to go. I decided to have it focus a lot more on Nagisa and Tomoya's relationship then the original anime. And it will defiantly go down a bit of a different path so that it will have it own original spin to it. The drama club will still be getting established but I'll try to have more going on on the side as well. Also this chapter does not follow the excactly series of event that lead to he basket ball scene because if you had to read out the WHOLE second episode, that wouldn't be very entertaining now would it? I hope you enjoy it!**

Sitting in the classroom on another boring day. I found myself staring out the window and up at the sky. Just like always, I found myself wondering if this was all there was to life at this point. A mundane schedule without end. This morning Ryou Fujibayashi, the class representative, had advised me to not always be so late. And then her sister Kyou scolded me and threatened to beat me up when she thought I was making fun of her sister. Such a protective one she is... The sound of the school bell chimed in my ears, so I pulled myself to my feet. No doubt Sunohara would want to have lunch with me or something. Might be amusing.

As I walked down the hallway of the school, something caught my eye. Or..more like someone. I paused and took another look. Ah! Wasn't that the girl from this morning? The one who had seemed so reluctant to come to school on her own? I could see her sitting alone and eating lunch. Did she not have any friends to sit with her? Well that was a shame. I was tempted to just leave her be and let her sit alone but..I couldn't bring myself to leave her. I had helped her this morning, and I felt like I was obligated to help her now as well.

Reluctantly, I went outside and approached her. I saw her glance at me, but she didn't say anything. "Hey there." I said. No answer. "What are you doing out here alone? Aren't you going to eat with your friends?" Still nothing. Only then did I take notice of what she was eating. Anpan? Didn't she say 'Anpan' when I first met her atop that hill? Huh. "Hey are you listening to me?" When I asked her this, she finally looked up at me.

"I'm sorry. I'm eating right now." She told me. Well..that was a bit rude wasn't it?

"So I see." Well I wasn't going to let this slide. I came over and sat right down next to her. She didn't seem to bothered by this however. Instead she continued on eating. I decided to just go ahead and eat as well. Might as well I suppose. I watched out of the corner of my eye as the girl ate. Eventually she finished off her lunch and set her trash gently to the side before looking to me.

"Um, what did you want me for?" She asked softly.

"I just wanted to know why you were out here alone is all."

She hesitated a moment, as though she were debating on how to answer. "Do you like this school?" She finally asked.

"Oh, not particularly." I answered.

"I like it very very much." She told me. "But..it's very new to me." I waited a moment to see if she would continue after this. "I recently transferred here, so I really don't know anyone just yet. All of my other friends are back at my old school. I feel rather out of place here.." She gasped softly then and I saw her blush. "Oh my. What am I saying to someone that I've just met?" She said, looking embarrassed.

"I don't really mind." I told her. "But anyways, if your new here, then you'll never really be able to make any friends if you just sit here looking all sad like that. Try and smile a little, maybe you'll be able to look more friendly that way." I advised.

"Maybe.." she said, her eyes never leaving her lap. "Well..I was thinking about something actually. Something that might help me make more friends." She hesitated a bit before saying, "I've been thinking about joining the drama club here. I loved to act back at my old school. It was always a lot of fun to preform with everyone. I would defiantly like to do it again."

"Drama huh?" I said to her.

"Yup. Do you..do you think you might want to join?"

"Sorry. I've never been interested in clubs like that before."

"Oh.." She went silent for a moment. "Have you never joined a club before?" She asked.

"Well no that's not true. I was in the Basketball team back in My Freshman year. But I ended up quitting."

"Why is that? Did you lose interest?"

"No it's not that." I answered. I wasn't sure how to explain it to her. I really did like playing back then. But my body couldn't take the physical strain after awhile. I had to rest a lot after games, and sometimes missed practice. I always did my best to never miss a game. But I knew it was all over once I finally ended collapsing on the court. The couch called me in and told me that perhaps this wasn't the right sport for me. And in the end he kicked me off the team. It was kinda depressing after that, but there wasn't really anything I could do about it. "The coach just thought I wasn't cut out for it. That's all."

"Then..would you want to play with me?" She asked, taking me by surprise. "I know I'm not very athletic but I would defiantly like to play with you sometime. It isn't fair that you had to quit Basketball, even though you still liked playing. So I would like to play with you if it's okay." I was a little hesitant at her offer. But she seemed so..determined. Well..one game couldn't hurt right? There shouldn't really be any issues with one game.

"Fine." I said to her as I stood up. "I'll play with you." Her face lit up when I agreed. Hm. Lunch was just about over. It was time to get going. "Oh, by the way." I said. "My name is Okazaki. Tomoya Okazaki."

She stood up and faced me. "And I'm Nagisa Furukawa! It's very nice to meet you!" Heh. She was so happy. Was I her very first friend here or something? It seemed like it. "I can't wait to play with you Okazaki."

TIMESKIP

After school, I found myself sitting in Sunohara's dorm room once again, and staring out the window. Dark clouds were lining the sky, threatening rainfall. Looks like the little game Furukawa proposed was going to be cancelled. Unless..no. She wouldn't actually be standing out there and waiting for me would she? That would be stupid! Then again..she did seem like the sort of person who would do that. Should I go and check? I glanced at Suonhara. Reading some sports manga it seemed. Well he wasn't going to be any more entertaining then anything I could see out there.

I stood up, getting his attention. "Hey, I'm gonna borrow your umbrella." I said as I plucked it up out of his stand by the door.

"Wait what? Why?" He called out, but I didn't answer as I walked right out the door. Once I got outside of the building, the rain had already begun to fall from the sky. I opened up the umbrella and set out towards the basketball court. God what a pain...

It took about fifteen minutes to get to the court from his house. And when I got there, I was dumbfounded. Furukawa stood next to the basketball hoop, cradling a ball in her arms. She didn't have on a jacket or an umbrella and was just getting pounded by the merciless rain. "Furukawa!" I called out. I dropped my umbrella and hurried over, covering her shoulders with my jacket. When she saw me there, she smiled.

"Oh Okazaki!"

"Are you stupid? What are you doing out here?"

"I wanted to see you."

"There was no guarantee that I would come was there?"

"But you did come." I sighed. She was right. "You still like basketball. I thought it was so sad that you had to quit by no fault of your own. I don't know what I would do if I ever had to give up drama." She told me. "So I thought that maybe we could play together a little. So you can feel what it's like to play again."

"Well what are we going to do in all this rain?" I asked her with another sigh. The court was slippery and I didn't want her to get hurt. As I waited for her answer, I could feel a little tickle in my throat. Ugh. I should get home. The rain was freezing and I didn't want me or her to get sick.

"Well..let me see you shoot a basket." She requested. "I want to see it." She then lifted the ball as though she were going to take a shot. "You make a cool stance like this and then shoot right? A real professional doesn't shoot underhand like me right?" I didn't know what to say to her. I had been thinking about turning down her request. But upon looking her over, I could see that her cloathing was soaked through and her hair was dripping wet. She had been waiting for so long and so patiently. It wasn't right to turn down such an innocent request. I sighed and help up my hands. She smiled and tossed me the ball.

I didn't say anything or move a muscle for a moment, and just stared at the ball in my hands. It had been such a long time since I had even held one before. I didn't get a chance to even attempt to play anymore. So this was defiantly rather new to me right now. I began to dribble the ball as Furukawa looked on with anticipation. After a moment, I threw it. The satisfying sound of it going straight through the net made me smile a bit. I forgot how nice it felt. And Furukawa seemed to love it too as she cheered for me.

"That was really great!" She said. "Just like a professional!"

"I wouldn't really say that was professional." I chuckled. She was really amazed by the simplist things wasn't she? I retrieved the ball and shot it one last time, just for her, before tucking it under my arm. "We can play together some other day okay?" I told her. "But for right now, let's get you home alright? I don't want you to get sick." I led her from the court, picking up my umbrella on the way and giving it to her. She protested plenty at first, but I insisted upon her taking it. Then we began walking, with Furukawa taking the lead since I didn't know where her house was. I kept the ball firmly in my arms. But I could feel my hands starting to tremble. It was stupidly cold out here..

We walked past Sunohara's dorm after awhile and kept on walking. How far was her house anyways? I just wanted to get her home so I could go home too. I wasn't feeling too well. My head was starting to hurt and my throat was bothering me too. But I tried not to say anything. I didn't want her to worry about me. But I knew I was starting to get sick. I had to be quick about this. But my feet were feeling so heavy and I ended up dragging them as I began to slow down.

"Okazaki, are you okay?" Furukawa asked me. "You look a little pale."

"Yea I'm fine. How much farther is your house from here?"

"Not much farther." Thank goodness. My shirt was soaked through and sticking to my skin. After a bit longer, she stopped in front of a bakery. "It's right here. This is my house." She turned to face me. "Thank you for walking me home Okazaki. I really appreciate it. Do you want to come inside?"

"No thanks. I should be getting home anyways."

"Oh. Okay. But..don't ever hesitate to come over if you would like to." She smiled. "I really appreciated you talking to me today and even coming to play basketball, even though it was raining. I want to repay you for your kindness. So do you think..we could maybe um..be friends?" She asked, suddenly becoming a bit shy. I chuckled at her sudden childish behavior.

"Sure. I don't mind being friends. You seem like a nice person." She smiled widely, more then happy at me accepting her offer. "Now, I should really get going okay?" I said.

"Wait." She said suddenly. "May I ask you something?" I nodded in response. "Well..you showed me that your pretty good at basketball. And you seemed to really like it too. So..why did the coach think you weren't good enough? Did something happen?" I didn't know how to answer that. She had a lot going on already with this new school and the drama club. It would be stupid to worry her more.

"It was just..circumstances beyond my control." I told her. "Now I really need to-" I stopped. M-my throat. It felt like it was closing up on me and was making it a little difficult to breath. Everything was mixing together in one incoherent blur. Oh no. Not now. "Sorry.." I mumbled out as I turned around. I could hear her saying my name, and i could tell that she was concerned. But I could barley comprehend anything else. My knees buckled and then slapped against the wet sidewalk as my legs gave out on me. And in the next instance, everything went dark.


	3. Chapter 3

_I can't move. Everything hurts. I can't breath right. Dad..Dad where are you? I need you.._

When I first opened my eyes, my first comprehensive thought was, 'Where the hell am I?' I didn't recognize the room I was in, nor did I really remember what had happened. I was lying in a futon, rather then in my own bed. And when I glanced around, the bedroom didn't look familiar either. A white desk, a bookshelf and a pink clock. A potted plant in the corner, and a television on top of a dresser on another. Whose room was this? I had to take a moment to think about what in the world had happened.

"Ah! Are you awake?" I hadn't noticed the door slid open! I turned my head to see who was speaking. A woman stood in the doorway, smiling at me. Who was this? "How are you feeling? You had quite a nasty fall earlier." A fall? Oh! That's right, I passed out in front of Furukawa's house didn't I? So this was probably her bedroom I was lying in. So then, was this her sister? Or her mother perhaps? She came in and knelt down by the futon.

"I'm..feeling better then before." I told her.

"That's great! Nagisa was so worried about you! I imagine she'll be really happen to hear that your okay." She said. I looked about for a moment before my eyes fell on the window. It was dark outside. Was it because of the weather? Or was it really already night time? I couldn't really tell. I looked back at the woman before me. "Where is Furukawa?" I asked.

"Nagisa? She's in the kitchen. She wanted to make you something for when you woke up. I asked her to bring me one of the breads I made for you to try too but she seemed a bit hesitant for some reason." She frowned a bit. "She wanted to bring you to your house but we don't know where you live. It's late right now though so I don't think it would be safe to try and take you home now. Would you rather be okay with this?" She asked me. I frowned a bit in response.

"He wouldn't care.." I muttered. She seemed concerned, and I didn't want her questioning me further. So I quickly changed the subject. "I'm sorry to be putting you out like this."

"It really isn't any trouble at all." She assured me. "We're just happy to help. You're Okazaki right? That's what Nagisa told us anyhow." She put her hand on my forehead. Mmm. The coolness of her hand really felt nice against my forehead. "I feels like your fever went down a little. I'll call for a doctor to come by in the morning if it hasn't broken. Is that okay?" She asked.

"That's fine." I scanned the room a bit more, not really sure what to say. My eyes fell on something..a bit familiar. It rested on top of her bookcase. It was a round, green thing with two black lines for eyes. What could that be?

"Taken an interest I see." Her mother chuckled. "That's a Dango. Do you like them?" Before I could answer, she got up and went to the bookcase. She took down the 'Dango' and came back to me as I sat up. She placed the squishy thing into my lap. "It's Nagisa's. She bought it with her own money after working a part time job. She works so hard~" She chuckled. I wasn't really sure what to say. I placed my hands on top of it and pushed down. It was filled with beads that made it squish. How odd. Nagisa liked these things? Weren't they a little outdated?

"Oh!" I heard. I looked up to see Nagisa standing in the doorway, a tray in her hands and an apron around her waist. It was pink, and had another one of those Dango's on it. "I'm glad to see that your awake!" Nagisa said as she came into the room. When she knelt down, the woman got up.

"I'm going to leave you two be then okay? Get plenty of rest okay? I'll be coming to check on you in a bit." She turned around, paused, and then turned to me again. "By the way, my name is Sanae. It's very nice to met you." I nodded in return and watched as she walked from the room and shut the door behind her. I looked to Furukawa now, who seemed to be blushing a bit as she's got down onto her knees next to me and set the tray to the side.

"Something wrong?"

"Oh no! It's just that..well you look so cute with the Dango all cuddled up onto your lap like that. Hehe~" She admitted as she smiled at me.

"I-Is that so?" I said, not really sure what else I was supposed to say in a situation like this. I watched as her eyes fell to her lap, and her smile suddenly faded. "I'm sorry Okazaki." She said.

"Sorry? For what?"

"For what I did. I was the one who asked you come and play basketball. And I'm the one who made you take the shot. I.." Oh man. I could see tears welling up in her eyes. I didn't want her to start crying like this.. "I was the one who made you sick. I'm sorry Okazaki, I never meant to hurt you like this. I just wanted to play with you."

"You don't have to apologize for that." I told her. "You had good intentions and didn't mean any harm. It's my own fault for going out like that. I knew about my condition and so still chose to stay in the rain like that?"

"Condition?" Furukawa sniffed. "Your not sick are you?" Ah. I should have kept my mouth shut. What was I supposed to say to her.

"Sort of." I said. "It's something I was born with. My body doesn't work the way that others do. I get sick a lot easier and sometimes, things like this happen. It's pretty inconvenient to be honest." I chuckled. I looked at her. "And..that's why I had to quit the basketball team. Because of this illness." I sighed. "Sometimes the illness can take months at a time to pass, depending on how sick I get. And..not only is that why I quit the basketball team. But that's also why I'm..repeating m senior year." Might as we'll get it all out into the open. It would be easier to tell her now rather then explain later.

Her mouth had fallen agape at what I told her. And before long, tears were overflowing and streaming down her cheeks. "That's so tragic Okazaki. I'm so sorry to hear that. She put her face in her hands as she began crying. "I'm so selfish. I was complaining about having to leave my old school, and you had to go through something like this? I'm really sorry." Oh man.

I scooted closer and took her wrists, gently pulling her hands away from her face. "You don't need to cry about this. I'm fine. You haven't done anything wrong. I don't honk your selfish at all."

"R-really?" She asked.

"Of course." We didn't say anything for a moment, our eyes locked on each other's. I wasn't really thinking about just how intimate this was until she suddenly blushed. "Oh! Am I a little too close?" I asked. She opened her mouth to answer when..

"HEY!" I heard, making me jump. "What the hell do you think you're doing to my daughter?!" When I looked in the doorway, I saw a man with fiery-red hair, a cigarette hanging from his lips, and a scowl on his face.

"D-Dad!" Furukawa cried as she looked at the man. This was her Dad?

"You little creep! How dare you make my little girl cry?!" He scolded. I'm pretty sure he would have pummeled me if Furukawa hadn't stood up.

"Stop Dad! He's still really sick! Besides, he didn't make me cry, I promise!" She cried.

I guess he didn't believe her, because he gave me the dirtiest look. "I let you into MY home, let you sleep in MY daughters room, and let you borrow MY pajamas, this is the thanks I get?!"

"What?" I looked down now. I hadn't noticed before, but I was now wearing a pair of green pajamas that were about half a size too big. But..I had been unconscious. I didn't change myself. So..that meant.. "Wait a minute did you undress me?!" I demanded.

"Well did you think I was going to let my precious daughter or my smoking hot wife do it? Hell no, I did it myself." I used my arms and crossed them around my chest, almost as though I were a nude girl.

"You can't do that kind of thing!" I told him. God how humiliating.

"Calm down brat, it was only your shirt and pants. I didn't see anything else." He waved it off. But it obviously wasn't nothing that could just be forgotten about. "Besides, Sanae was here too. She saw me." When I looked confused he said, "Sanae's my wife kid."

"She watched you?! So she saw me like that too?" I asked.

"Yea but don't get all excited. She wouldn't get anything from someone as scrawny as you." He laughed. Geez, what was with this guy? He looked at Furukawa and at the food she had brought for me. "What were you planning on feeding him?" He asked.

"Its some rice porridge." She answered. "Something that won't upset his stomach and isn't too hard to swallow was best."

"Well that won't do." Oh. Samar was here again, standing in the doorway. "Okazaki, why don't you join us for dinner tonight? You can sit right next to Akio~" Oh so Akio was the father it would seem.

"What, no way! I'd just loose my appetite." Akio said angrily. I shook my head a bit and smiled.

"I wouldn't want to be any trouble. I've put you out enough."

"It's no trouble at all. We would love to have an extra dinner guest." She insisted. "If you're feeling up to it I mean."

"Well..yes thank you very much." I said. She smiled gleefully at me. She seemed really pleased.

"Great! Why don't you come and join us at the table then." She said. I nodded and pushed back the blanket on the futon. Furukawa took my hand and helped me stand. Thankfully I didn't trip or stumble which would have just embarrassed me even further. She helped me to her dining room and to the table. And I dined with her family. It defiantly wasn't something I was used to. I hadn't actually sat down and eaten with someone else in the longest time. What made it even more interesting, was how ready they all seemed to be to welcome me into their home. They treated me like a long-time friend or something of the sort. I would be lying if I said that I didn't like it. As I ate, I started to think about my own father. He probably didn't even know that I had gotten sick again. And he wouldn't find out because he didn't care. It was raining out and he probably didn't even wonder where I was all this time. Well whatever. I didn't need him.

After dinner, as her parents cleared the table, Furukawa said to me, "How are you feeling Okazaki?"

"A lot better then before." I said. "It's a little late uh? I don't want to impose any longer. I should probably head back home."

"But you still have a fever!"

"I'll be fine. Don't worry about me okay?"

"Well..then at least let me walk you home. I don't want you to collapse again with no one around to help you." She told me.

"Sure thing, if its not a problem for you."

"It's no problem at all, honest." She told me. She let her parents know where she was going, ad of course got a concerned look over from Sanae. But in the end, she let us go. Thankfully, my home wasn't too far from here. I had been past her bakery before so I knew how to get home from here. She walked with me the whole way, gripping my arm. I could feel the heat radiating from her cheeks the whole time, as she was much more the a little embarrassed by this whole thing.

Once we got back to my house, I was little worn out, but otherwise okay. "Please, don't ever hesitate to come over again if you want to. My parents and I really did enjoy your company today."

"I'll remember that then. Maybe I'll-" I was cut off when the front door opened. And I grimaced. My father stood there, looking surprised. He had his coat on and I saw his wallet in his pocket. Going out for booze no doubt. When was the last time he had even been out of the house?

"Oh, Tomoya." He said in his tired, old voice. "There you are. Where have you been? It's going to rain you know?" _It already did._ Was what I wanted to say to him. But I just couldn't bring myself to say anything to him. "Why don't you come inside? You look a little pale. Are you running a fever again?" He raised his hand to put it on my forehead, but I swatted it away.

"Okazaki.." Furukawa said softly, but I didn't say anything back.

"I'm fine." I told him through my gritted teeth. "Just tired. I'm going to bed."

"You do that Tomoya." he said softly. Why was he acting like he cared? Probably just because someone else was here right? He turned to Furukawa. "Thank you for walking my son home. Your a very good girl." He went to pt his hand on her shoulder and I spoke.

"Don't touch her!" I scolded, starling both them, and myself. Whoops. I didn't mean to have an outburst like that. But a moment after I yelled at him, my throat tightened, resulting in a coughing fit. "Leave her alone." I managed out. "Furukawa go back home. I'll see you tomorrow okay?" I didn't wait for an answer and instead turned back to the door and went inside. I didn't bother to see what would happen now. I didn't care anymore.

I went right to my bedroom, and lie down on my bed without bothering to remove my clothing. I was feeling light headed and just wanted to rest. I lie on the bed with my face buried in the pillow. I only barely felt someone slip the shoes off of my feet and place a blanket around my shoulders. It didn't take long for me to fall asleep, my head clouded and fuzzy.


	4. Chapter 4

For a few days, I stayed at home as my fever ran it's course. My father came by every now and again to check on me or try to help me. But I pretended to be asleep every time he came by. So he didn't do too much. I didn't want him to. Every time his rough hands touched my cheek or my head, I had to stop myself from flinching or pushing him away. When he left for booze or to go see a friend, I would drag myself out of bed and make myself something to eat or get some water. I managed to take care of myself without him. Just as I always did. I hated this. I hated to be around him. He treated me more like a stranger then he did a parent. It's been that way since my mother passed away. At first, he tired to act as he always did, and keep me happy. But whenever I got sick, he seemed like a different person. His smile was unnatural, and he became distant. It was too much to take. I hated it. I hated him for doing this. During a time I needed him most, he acted so cold, so indifferent. I wish I could understand why,

Once my fever broke, I was quickly back on my feet and going to school. If circumstances weren't in the way that they were, then I'd probably be the sort of person who would try and milk the fever, getting as many sick days as possible. But I didn't want to be at home. Not at all. So, despite the lingering migraine, I was out of bed and on my way to school. Going up the hill again, I didn't know what I would see. But...for some reason, I almost expected to see Furukawa again. I didn't know if I got a chance to thank her for her kindness that night. But I was greatful that she was willing to help me. She wasn't there though, so I assumed that she had made it to school by herself today. That was good. I couldn't help but sigh. I only just met her yesterday, and I already wanted to see her. Well, whatever. I might see her later in the day. So I would speak to her then.

Sitting in the classroom once again, I found myself staring up the the sky again. The clouds had cleared today and proved for a sunnier morning. That was good. I couldn't handle anymore rain. It was such a boring day, and it was passing pretty slowly. I mean, it was kinda fun teasing Ryou when she tried to find out where I had been. She did her best to scold me for 'skipping' for so many days. But I wasn't worried. The teachers already knew about my condition. They couldn't get me in trouble for it. But no one else did. They all thought of me as some no-good delinquent. Well that was fine by me to be honest. I didn't care. But someone did apparently.

As my fourth period went by, I was roused from my daydreams when I saw a paper ball roll onto my desk. I stared for a moment before looking to my side. Sunohara had his face foreword, but was watching me out of the corner of his eye. He nodded towards the paper on my desk, seemingly wanting me to open it and read whatever was inside. I looked back at the paper for a moment, feeling a bit spiteful. I didn't want to read this. He just wanted to bug me. It would be much more fun to mess with him. I bat the paper around my desk for a bit, before giving it a flick. It rolled to the ground and to Sunohara's feet. I could hear him scoff before he leaned over and picked it up. It was tossed back onto my desk, and I smirked, a bit amused. Then, I gave it a little bump with my elbow so it fell again. Another groan from Sunohara before he tossed it onto my desk, with just a bit more force. This time, I leaned a bit close and let out a heavy sigh, enough to make it roll off again. Well, that got him really riled up. He picked it up, and chucked it at my head.

The paper ball bounced off the side of my head and hit the ground, rolling out of his reach. I could hear him swear under his breath, and I had to stop myself from laughing. He was just so determined. I watched out of the corner of my eye as Sunohara slid from his desk and got on his hands and knees, crawling towards the note. It had landed right at Ryou Fujibayashi's feet I could see. Ooh, how was this going to go? He reached out carefully for the note, a few other students eyeing him curiously. It looked like he knew what could happen too if he wasn't careful, so he tried to keep as far from her as possible, while still reaching for the note. Fujibayahsi didn't seem to have a clue what was happening behind her right now. His fingers were just barely brushing at the paper ball. That's when he lost his balance from reaching out so far, and fell foreword, off of his knees, grabbing hold of Fujibayashi's ankle in the process. She squealed and looked down. When she saw him holding onto her ankle, face flushed, and wide-eyes, she didn't take it too well.

"Let me go!" She shrieked, getting everyone's attention. She was red in the face, and close to tears. The teacher turned around and quickly spotted Sunohara.

"Sunohara!" He bellowed. "What do you think you're doing?" I watched as he stuttered, at a loss for words. Sunohara was sent out of the room pretty quickly. Poor guy. I'd have to give him my condolences next time I saw him.

As the lesson went on, I noticed the note was still lying at Fujibayashi's feet. I'd have to have a look at it once class was over then. Couldn't just let all that trouble be for nothing.

Once the period came to a close, I could see how poor Fujibayashi was the first out the door. Probably planned to tell her sister everything. I didn't want to be Sunohara right now that was for sure. I stood from my desk and picked up the note. When I opened it, I couldn't help but sigh aloud. _Hey Okazaki. You wanna have lunch at the roof or something? You were out for awhile and I've got lots to catch you up on. Feeling okay?_

Well, it was awfully nice of him to look out for me like this I would admit. But I sort of wished that he wouldn't. I didn't need any needless worry right now. As I left the classroom, I made sure to toss the note out. Why was I feeling so bitter today? I shook my head as I stepped out of the classroom. Well then, without Sunohara, where would I go and eat today then hm? I wasn't even all that hungry in the first place to begin with. I'd figure something out. But I didn't get too far. Because before long, I was confronted.

"Hey, Okazaki!" I froze, and sighed. Great. I could recognize this voice pretty well. Too well. I turned around to face her. Kyou Fujibayashi stood before me, holding her little sister's hand. Ryou looked pretty embarrassed, as though she had tried to tell her sister not to do this. "I heard about what happened in the classroom! Honestly, where do you and Sunohara get off on harassing my sister like this?" she demanded.

"Listen, I didn't have anything to do with this. There's no need to pick on me for it," I told her patiently.

"Pick on you? You're picking on her!" She told me. It's a little hard to tell from this confrontation, but the two of us are friends. Sort of. We didn't talk too much to one another, but we were still civil from time to time. This was not one of those time. "I swear, you need to reign him in more."

"Wait, why is he my responsibility?" I asked.

"I would think it would be obvious," she sighed, having cooled down a bit. "He's like a little puppy, y'know? He needs someone to tell him what to do and give him a little smack from time to time. Otherwise, he just won't understand what's right and what's wrong."

"Okay but why is he MY dog?" I asked.

"Because you're his friend, that's why," she answered for me. "No one else can take on such a big role. It's you're job to keep him out of trouble and things like that. I think you're up for the challenge right?"

"Thanks but no thanks. I don't think I'm ready for the responsibility of taking care of a pet." This made Kyou laugh, while Ryou just looked sort of uncomfortable. Heh, I could understand what she was feeling. I didn't want to be here either. I shook my head a bit, not sure what more they wanted me to say. I listened to her talk, averting my eyes. but when I did, something quickly caught my attention, and I sort of tuned Kyou out. Gazing out the window, I saw her.

Nagisa came out if the building and walked across the lawn. I watched as she settled herself down under a shady area. Why, this was the place where we first talked. Where we introduced one another. I hadn't forgotten. I wondered if she had. I could only stare at her. She was all alone again. But something was different. She seemed depressed. Her eyes focused on her lap, and a bit of a sad expression on her face. It was a little hard to see due to the distance. But that's what I could make out. I wanted to go down there, just to thank her if I could. I couldn't help to think back however.

When we went to her house that day, she asked if we could be friends. I told her yes. So she shouldn't have to be alone right now. I had the feeling that she had been alone quite enough at this point.

"Hey Okazaki!" I snapped back to focus, looking at Kyou. "Were you listening to me?" She asked, fists resting on her hips.

"Mm-hm," I responded, keeping my eye on her. Kyou seemed to catch my eye, and glanced down at her.

"Isn't that Furukawa?" She asked me. She sighed and brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear. "She always looks so depressed. She was new to this school right? So she's probably pretty lonely." She paused for a second, and I could see her glancing at me. I turned my full attention to Furukawa, wondering what she was thinking about. I wish I could say that I didn't care, or could pass this by. But I did care. She had been so gentle and careful with me. I felt it was only right to care right back for her. "you know, I would think though that she would have at least one friend, rather then keep to herself all the time."

"She does have a friend," I told her. I didn't like that she thought of Furukawa as an introvert. I could see she was about to ask who. but I turned around, and walked away silently. I couldn't watch this anymore. I had to get to her. Kyou reached out, as though she wanted to stop me. But I didn't listen. And I didn't turn around. If I had, I might have noticed the discouraged look she gave me. And I would have seen the way Ryou stared at the ground, almost looking like she would cry, simply because my attention was focused on another girl.

I left the building, and slowly approached where Furukawa sat. Her eyes were still focused on her lap, and she was holding some bread in her lap. Anpan once again it would seem. Had she bought that from the cafeteria. That wasn't any good. Maybe I should try and help her get something better next time. I sat down by her side and glanced up at the window. The Fujibayashi sisters had left. Guess they didn't care to watch. I focused on Furukawa again and gently pat her shoulder. She jumped and looked up at me.

"Oh! Okazaki, hello. I didn't know you came back to school today," she said to me. She clearly seemed pretty surprised. I wonder when she had expected me to come back. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. It was just a little cold. I had to give it some time to pass, and I'd be fine," I assured her. She breathed a little sigh and smiled at me. But it looked a little weak.

"I'm so glad," she said to me, her hand over her chest. "I was so worried when you told me about your illness. I didn't know if you would be okay or not."

"Please don't look so nervous. I told you I would be fine didn't I? All I needed was to rest. I'm okay," I told her. She didn't say anything. She just kept smiling. I could tell there was something that she wanted to say. But she simply didn't know how to say it. Or maybe, she didn't know what to say at all. Finally, she turned her head so it faced her lap again.

"I'm so glad," she said, and I could hear her voice wavering a bit. Oh no, was she crying again? "I don't know what I would have done if it was anything serious. I don't think I could have forgiven myself." I watched her brush at her eyes before continuing. "I was afraid you would be upset with me for doing this to you. I really didn't mean to hurt you like this." I didn't know what to say as her tears fell from her chin and onto her bread. I sighed a bit. I could only imagine how long this had been hurting her and bothering her. She reached up and began to rub at her eyes. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be crying like this. It isn't right."

I reached out now and silently took the bread from her. She gasped a bit and looked up at me, watching me. I tore the damp piece of bread off, and handed the bread back to her as I placed the piece into my mouth. "I don't think it's such a bad thing. If you're apologizing for crying now, then I imagine you've been holding in your tears for awhile huh?" She didn't answer, only taking the bread back from me and staring at it. "Personally, I don't think that'll get you anywhere. It'll just make it feel even worse once you do confront these feelings, if you ever do. Or those feelings will just come out at a bad time. And that will really cause trouble for people."

"You think so?" She asked me, still not looking at me. I was tempted to tell her, 'I know so.' But I decided against it.

"For sure." She didn't say anything for now. I watched her. Knowing her, she probably held these feelings in for a good while, and then let them out when she was alone. Those feelings of loneliness, how long had she been dealing with them? I knew how awful it felt, I didn't want someone like her to go through them. "You shouldn't have to deal with them alone either," I said to her. This made her look up at me, a little confused. I looked away now, feeling a bit embarrassed myself. "You shouldn't have to cry alone. So...if you ever feel like crying, then you can come and find me okay?"

"But...but why?" She asked softly.

"Because I'm your friend." Her eyes widened a bit as she stared at me.

"My friend? You're still my friend? Even after...what happened? Even after what I did?"

"Why wouldn't I be? I already told you, it's not your fault. I'm not going to stop because of that." She stared at me for awhile. And I just had to turn and face her now. Then she smiled. She smiled up at me past her tears. It was an expression I had very rarely seen before in my life. Such a blend of emotions.

"Thank you Okazaki. Thank you," she said to me. I couldn't say much in return. So I just placed a hand on her shoulder. "I promise, I'm going to do my best this year okay? I'm going to work hard in joining the drama club, and make more friends. I'm going to do my best. Will you be there with me? Will you help me?" She asked. I smiled softly.

"Of course. I wouldn't abandon you, especially not now. I'll do my best too then okay? We can do this together. Right?"

"Right! I'll help you too Okazaki,, I promise. Thank you so much!"


End file.
